Our assistance pastor at St. Francis de Sales (born somewhere in South America) always preached very passionately. I remember one Easter mass (Easter being the most crowded) when he chided those poor visitors, "To all of you here who only attend mass twice a year - HAPPY EASTER, AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TOO!"
Well, during another summer Sunday mass the good father was getting himself worked up about nuclear disarmament. It was somewhere in the middle of this non spiritual blah blah that the thought entered my brain that change of any substance in Catholic doctrine was simply not going to happen. The vested interests in the bureaucracy of the Catholic Church would make it almost impossible for the Holy Spirit to blow through and enlighten either staff, cardinals or popes. Even if a pope ended up believing just like me no doctrine would be revised.
Although Jackie and I had been theologically moving away from Catholicism for a dozen years I had always felt that perhaps our presence there would be beneficial, representatives of a change that might one day work itself up to affect higher regions of the Church. I realized at that moment how naive I had been.
A second thought made it's way forward. Some of our children were getting to the ages where they would be learning more about Catholic doctrine at the parish school they attended. It didn't seem right for us to send our kids to a Catholic school, or have them hear a Catholic sermon, and then have to debrief them once home to counter any doctrine that we did not agree with.
Jackie and I talked about it later that afternoon and decided to enroll our children that fall in the public school system and to immediately look for another church, which was not easy since we had never even been to a Protestant service except for weddings or funerals. Now the only time we go to mass is for - weddings and funerals.
Although our parents were great about our change of religion, accepting it was still a little difficult for my mom and dad and especially for Jackie's mom. Catholicism is as much a cultural thing as it is a belief system and we think they felt like we were not only rejecting Catholicism but in a sense them as well.
When Jackie's father died and her mother got older she would have these episodes where tension would build up in her over a few months, come to a head over nothing, she would blow her top and go crazy, her tension would be released and she would then forget anything she had said when she blew up. She was then good for another 4 to 6 months before the process repeated and she blew again.
The interesting thing though is that when she would get like this, just before going off, she would be looking for a fight and would bring up religion. Jackie would not bite but it was obvious that mom was still holding on to something that had hurt her. Religion would be brought up after she exploded and she would use phrases such as; "So you think your father was stupid?"
No, we didn't think our parents were stupid. My mother was very smart and was a convert to Catholicism and my dad was the smartest man I knew. My mother-in-law was very sharp and an amazingly intuitive woman and my father-in-law, a convert to Catholicism, was extremely bright, blessed with many gifts of the Holy Spirit and was my chief spiritual mentor. He taught me how to read and love Scripture and laid before me a sound and well built foundation in the Christian faith.
How he could have converted to Catholicism when he didn't believe in apostolic succession, praying to Mary or the saints, transubstantiation, holy days of obligation, the teaching magisterial of the Church and on and on and on is a mystery to most of his kids who like us later left the Catholic Church. I have my ideas but will not speak for him.
He did have a great desire to celebrate communion as a solemn and sacred act and believed that the elements through the faith of the recipient did become Christ's actual flesh and blood He believed that the Holy Spirit should be able to move in a powerful way through those who were ordained and that although infant baptism did not bring about salvation it did offer advantage and spiritual protection from the evil one for the one being baptized.
Personally neither Jackie nor I miss the mass one bit. References to Mary and the saints make us uncomfortable in our spirit because we see that as a carry over from the adoption of certain forms of paganism very early in Church history. When we do attend mass for a wedding or funeral we skip receiving communion because the Catholic form, apart from our theological understandings, also makes us feel uncomfortable. This doesn't mean we don't love the people or respect the office of the priest or don't enjoy singing praises to God or reading out loud from Scripture. But we have moved far apart.
If you have recently left the Catholic Church it sometimes can be difficult to find a church where you and your family will be comfortable. You many need to move around a bit until you find a good fit. There are bad churches that have abusive pastors or abusive theology that is legalistic and I pray you will be able to discern them right away.
Look for a place that preaches from the Bible and sees the Word of God as the ultimate source for truth. Find a place where the Holy Spirit is free to move. Desire a place where you can be lost in worship. Treasure a place where your children can grow in faith and be lead to serve. Respect a place which supports and sends out servants to proclaim Jesus. Get healed and get involved. And keep loving your Catholic family and friends.
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